Vibes
Eric
What a specimen! There is no Homo Sapien in nature quite like the LaCavae Ericii, commonly known as the Eric LaCava. However, for the purposes of this account, we will address this splendor by Eric. Heralded as the apex predator of its species, the Eric is known for it’s well-groomed facial hair and it’s unequalled aesthetic appearance, but what truly distinguishes this mammal and makes it truly unique is it’s distinctly melodious voice. A voice that has been documented fervently throughout the ages as the sweetest sound audible to the human ear. Andrea Botelli himself has cited its orgasmic voice as his inspiration and muse. With the ability to sing towering pitches uncommon to the average man, only to drop several octaves down to a smooth rumbling bass sound, the Eric is a mammal to be venerated. It is as a result of this quality that this majestic creature was coveted by the MIT Logarhythms, whom after much toil finally secured him into their group. Almost as if it comes naturally, the Eric continues to accelerate heartbeats through the use of his heavenly voice as a member of the MIT Logs and continues to leave onlookers bewildered by his presence. Ladies and gentlemen, Eric LaCava!
shaun
Born as the result of a lab accident, Shaun grew up to be a combination of all the most desirable characteristics. His hands are almost perfectly proportional, his eyes are the right distance apart, and most toddlers would consider him to be quite tall. Shaun has hair as alluring as a lion’s mane with the intensity in his stare to match. He has a laugh that fills the room while maintaining a frame that barely fills any of it. His fashion sense is impeccable, which is also a feat of great patience as most designers do not make clothing in his size. He is everything you could ever want in a friend. You can always find him for help if you need him, laying in stark contrast to his mastery for fitting into impossible places during Hide-And-Seek. His face is unimaginably beautiful. It is possible that this is a result of never running into lowly hung decorations. His most impressive quality, however, is his voice. No one would ever expect so much soul to come from such little mass. It is a good thing Shaun has all of these striking qualities too because he will undoubtedly spend his entire Logs career in the front row.
neil
There’s no Greek mythology to describe this guy’s past. There’s no random Alien drop off that describes his inception. He’s just that awesome. Neil has an undying enthusiasm to excel in whatever he undertakes and, his ability to generate a compliment for any action a person does, is a trait which is unparalleled. It’s simply amazing. It’s even rumored that he compliments a person’s silence or lack of motion while asleep. Neil is from a remote village in Austria, where he made his living tuning pianos and practicing his American accent. His insatiable desire to join the logs, and most likely a few clever compliments persuaded the MIT admissions committee to accept him. Now that he’s here, he has graced us with his ability to bellow notes not even conceived by most leads, and the occasional tenor. The intensity of his facial expressions both on stage and during rehearsals is almost contagious. His willingness to do all that is asked of him, and that isn’t asked, is inspirational. Legend has it, that if you say his name three times, the next person you see will kneel before you. The same goes if you share his Facebook pictures. He even corrects the pitch pipe from time to time. So viewers, beware! You’ve never witnessed the brilliance of a cappella, until you’ve seen self assigned Vibe number one, Neil.
The son of Poseidon and Beyonce, this 6’4” stallion had his vocal cords hand-woven by the Muses. But when the Muses saw the greatness of their creation, they grew jealous of the perfection that they themselves could not achieve. Stephen was sent into hiding in Trinidad and Tobago, where he was raised by mortals. As a superhuman among mere men, Stephen sometimes struggled to fit in. When he playfully winked at girls, they would turn to gold. When he smiled, his glistening porcelain teeth would blind onlookers. When singing to himself, passersby would hear him and begin to ascend to Heaven.
Blessed with Weezy’s freestyling abilities, perfect pitch, and an angelic falsetto, it became clear that only one group was fit to handle his talents: the MIT Logarhythms. Reigning in Stephen’s enormous powers, the Logs tamed this half-God, half-superstar. Now, when Stephen winks, butterflies burst to life in ladies’ stomachs. When he smiles, the whole world stops and stares for a while. And when he sings his sultry tones, a fiery halo is said to materialize over his head. Physicists have determined that all heavenly bodies are attracted to Stephen, so this singing phenom is one to watch out for!
stephen
Many eons ago, a prophecy emerged that told of one who could restore balance to the force of music. Not as long ago, a baby was born whose cries made all of the doctors swoon. This baby was Brandon Sanchez. His parents realized he was the Chosen One, but never told him lest he begin his quest before he was ready. They could not, however, stop him from discovering it on his own. As his resonant voice flowed through the air, the universe bent to his will. Wilting flowers sprung back to life, a scorching hot day would be calmed by an Autumn breeze, and flocks of women (and men) would run towards the sound of his mystical voice. Intrigued by the astronomical implications, Brandon slowly cultivated his powers of sweet musical seduction. When he finally learned the truth, Brandon realized that he needed to take his talents to MIT so that he could learn from the Logarhythms, masters of the force. Now the quest has begun in earnest, with only time to tell whether the Logs can help Brandon fulfill his destiny.
brandon
In the beginning there was only chaos. Then out of the void appeared Afika, that untouchable bass whose voice resounds. From Afika all else was created, and through His will, all else shall be.
It is written that on the third waning gibbous of each year, this Great One shall come down from his tabernacle atop the Drakensberg Mountains. His actions have been known to cause both great pleasure and great strife in the lives of those he deigns to affect. Afika, our fearless leader, is responsible for severe droughts, plentiful harvests, the assassination of Lee Harvey Oswald, putting an end to Apartheid, the crossing of the Rubicon, jazz fusion, the discovery of alternating current, LOST (seasons 4 through 6), the construction of the Berlin Wall, the destruction of the Berlin Wall, Tupac’s inevitable reappearance, the eradication of smallpox, the BP oil spill, Hillary Clinton, and the American recessions of 1893, 1973, and 2008.
Chairman Afika is all-knowing, all-loving, and all-encompassing. None have ever beaten his boss battle. Few have even tried. We must continue living in fear, trying to appease this Symbol of the Fatherland’s Unification, this dazzling Sun of the Communist Future.