When I first met Amos, I knew immediately that he would be a member of the logs. Not because he was the only bass auditioning, but because of his precision and evident passion for music. My experience over the last couple of months being a twig alongside Amos has only compounded my conviction in this, and I have only grown in respect for Amos’s musical ability.

As someone who gets irrationally angry when I hear pitchiness, it’s always nice to share a knowing look with Amos when I hear an incorrect pitch or trending pitchiness in the group. In fact, I think that his rigor in music perfection has allowed me as well as the rest of the group to grow as a musicians ourselves; his ability to distinguish chords has massively improved our twig performances by revealing when we’re singing the wrong note or tune. 

Perhaps what is most admirable about Amos, beyond his innate talent, is his raw passion for music. For our twig skit, Amos has written multiple renditions of songs, editing and perfecting scores so that we can have an amazing performance on stage. Truly, his passion and talent combined have allowed for Amos to be one of the most inspiring musicians I have met.

I am so grateful that I met Amos through the group and would love to continue growing with him, whether it be simply music wise, or even in other areas of life (maybe he can teach me how to be a mildly-decent climber). I am looking forward to the next four years with you! 

After the first round of auditions, 8 soon-to-be twigs were gathered in a classroom in building 4, waiting nervously to be called for their solo assignment. Everyone had just learned the first verse of Signed, Sealed, Delivered, but callbacks wouldn't be finished until each auditionee sang alone in front of the solumn, cold, and stony-faced council of Logs. The atmosphere was tense as everyone held their phone speakers up to their ears, quietly listening to their prescribed song. Suddenly, a powerful voice broke through the practicing students' murmured half-singing. It was Peyton, singing her solo song brightly and with lots of vibrato. With her outgoing attitude and general friendliness soon a group was singing along: first, just those who had the same song assigned, then just people who wanted to sing. At some point it was no longer the audition song at all, but by then the future twigs had forgotten their stress. One by one, those 8 auditionees went to face the logs, and thanks in no small part to Peyton, they all became the newest twig class a few days later. Once she joined the group, Peyton didn't slow down for a moment. Not only an excellent singer, she played in MITSO that same semester and brought her musical-theatre mastery to TWO musicals over the following January term. Peyton's seemingly endless energy is like a fire that pushes her twig class forward, and with her distinctive vocal style and her ability to brighten anyone's day, Peyton is a great singer that will take the Logs to new heights.

Scientists at MIT have discovered a novel organism that never stops singing. Named Raymond Zhang, the creature distinguished itself during a series of college a cappella auditions, where it garnered attention for accentuating its musical prowess with aggressive downward pointing hand gestures while singing with a remarkably enchanting Kermit voice. Additional peculiar traits of a "Mond" encompass an inclination to doze off at all times (with reported sightings on a Philadelphia highway), meandering without a backpack and frequently retracing steps to New House for forgotten items (such as a cookbook), and exhibiting extraordinary piano improvisation skills that captivate all who listen. A three-month-long experiment yielded quantitative data revealing the creature's exclusive use of lowercase letters and a staggering 99% occurrence of typos and grammar mistakes in text messages. Such observations have led some scientists, such as the esteemed MIT Log Reuben Fuchs, to hypothesize that English may be a Raymond's fifth language. Qualitative observations from the same experiment highlight Raymond's empathetic nature, consistently extending support to others in both highs and lows. In a pivotal iteration of the study, scientists questioned Raymond about potential skit pitch ideas, to which the organism responded, "Well, I have perfect pitch…". Researchers caution that the creature is highly variable and dynamic, necessitating further investigations to fully comprehend its true essence. Nevertheless, compelling evidence suggests a peculiar litmus test: insult Rachmaninoff in the presence of a potential Raymond Zhang. If their facial features turn melancholic, researchers assert a high likelihood of encountering a genuine Raymond.

Mariabelle is something incredibly special. Astonishingly special. Extraordinarily special. Fantastically. Magnificently. SENSATIONALLY. First is her voice, a strong yet calming texture that could rise from underneath and slay a dragon. it is a precise and accurate shot on the bullseye every time. Next is her very unconventional type of humor… sometimes we be chilling, and suddenly she’d bring a bomb of extraordinary vocabulary that many of us, have little to no clue in the meanings. This humour, when confronting a dragon, will cause the dragon to flip upside down, therefore easily slayed too. Next, she is smart, but more importantly, extremely hard working. There are countless awards and accolades and honors and recognitions and opportunities and prizes -  which all come down to her being a great worker. When she in the zone, she’s IN THAT ZONE. unless she delivers the random comments about railing. She gon build a huge airplane that will instead of crashing into the dragon like an average person would, RAIL THE DRAGON WITH A LASER BEAM. Next of all, she is dedicated to the things she love and is extremely passionate to deliver. Even with all that academic exceptionalism, she makes time to practice what she loves, including musical stuff like singing and playing the piano. She is incredibly good at everything she loves doing! So basically, she is unstoppable. To summarize, the dragon will fly out of the volcano from its slumber and breath a huge roar of fire! BUT MARIABELLE SHOOTS A LASER SHE DEVELOPED FROM HER AIRPLANE THAT REPLICATES THE POWER OF HER VOICE AND THE TWO BEAMS CLASH IN THE MIDDLE. IT IS A CLOSE FIGHT. BUT MARIABELLE, IS MORE THAN A POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE. SHE DEVELOPS TWO MORE ORBS IN EACH HAND - ONE IS HER HUMOUR AND THE OTHER IS HER LOVE - AND THEY BLAST THROUGH THE DRAGON’S BREATH AND EXPLODES THE DRAGON’S ENTIRE BODY ON CONTACT. SHE SAVES THE WORLD!

The Epic of Lady Goodwill

Speak, Calliope,

Of our hero

With her heart of justice 

And mind unrivaled.

Sing, Euturpe,

Of the Lady’s song,

An angelic cry that all must hear.

Faith over fear

That’s what she carries

On her wrist

On her heart.

Light tails her

Like a trail of baby ducklings

Trying to find their way.

She leads them

Towards something better.

Floating hither and thither

She’s all around

From the hue of Autumn leaves

To the tinkling of bells

Or the smell of cinnamon.

It envelopes you,

And all is alright.

She’s no angel,

The drudgery of life 

Will still try and push her down.

Relentless and unyielding,

Life pushes and pushes,

And our hero,

Sometimes may fall.

A bump,

A scratch,

Some tears,

And yet,

Her fire is not extinguished.

Like a Phoenix,

She’ll rise.

Dancing with a fervor you’ve never seen.

As she whips and spins and leaps

With more strength 

And grace

And poise,

Music rises to the occasion.

“Kathump, kathump, kathump”

Her heartbeats echo through the air,

The resting cadence of her dance.

Full of valor,

Of love, 

Glorifying the heavens with every step. 

Her foe,

Watches this amazing display agape.

Never had he witnessed a hero

So powerful,

Yet humble,

So cunning,

Yet kind. 

“Stop!” he demands.

Our hero obeys, warily.

The God of Life approaches her.

He tells her his story,

That of strife, of suffering.

How it took him millenia after millenia to pick himself back up.

That she, was remarkable

In her ability to not only keep going

But pick others up in spite of what he throws at us.

“Lady Goodwill, lightbringer.”

Her mission would be to bring light to others,

To make their days brighter,

Or even give the first spark in the darkness.

However,

This mission wasn’t new.

She would do it anyways.

Through smiles,

Hugs and compliments,

Being there, showing up,

Showing love.

Chelsy

Doesn’t need the fancy title

“Lady” or “lightbringer”

To be the shine in our life, 

A perpetual beacon of hope.

and

in the bowels of a Maseeh dorm

she works

managing a slew of ESG classes

and 

raymond’s course 6 queries 

and 

in makerspaces

she plots creatives contraptions…

from stickers to merch ideas

and 

under the blanket of night

and

from within sound-treated walls

she sings smooth mysterious songs

that you don’t understand

she is always

uniquely reliable 

and 

kind, often sweet

and

quiet, yet never meek

because while she laughs

at you

she lights up

like a sky of azure

shares a piece

and 

you can’t help but laugh too

Looking for a loving, caring, gentle… whoops sorry that’s the wrong person.

… CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BRING ME THE CORRECT SCRIPT?

*cough* Wow… Sorry about that—where were we? Right: 

Looking for a brutally honest, crass companion who can work hard and play hard? Look no further!

INTRODUCING: Sarah Su™ (Limited edition) 

Representing Southern California, Sarah is one of our more unique American Girl Doll options! For the small price of your self-esteem or sanity (whichever is less valuable to you), you will receive a multi-faceted friend: a brainiac, a great musician, a party buddy, and maybe your biggest hater.

Do you look f**king ugly today? She’ll make sure you’re aware. This is just to ensure you never make the same mistake in the future.

Don’t know what to do on a Friday night or need a pick-me-up (iykyk)? She’s got the frat plugs. Just be sure not to give her too many shots or she might combust.

Don’t know how to initiate a variable? She’ll clown your sorry as* She’ll do your CS P-set for you! But be sure not to overload her with another stupid question for a few hours.

But wait, there’s more!

Thanks to our proprietary MegaMoney technology, she’s preprogrammed to become your personal future money-making cash cow in just 4 years—thanks, Quant! In fact, when you purchase a Sarah Su doll, you are donating to the Quant Society of America Foundation, those poor souls.

Sarah is also the first doll with a built-in surround sound audio system! With her selection of 150 pre-installed pop tunes, from Joji to Ari, her bright voice and runs crispier than your dry elbows are sure to keep you entertained for hours. Don’t worry, you have the freedom to install even more songs of your choosing because you can never get enough of hearing a song sung in Sarah’s magical voice.

• Tip: When sound system is in use, be sure to take her off of “Hyper-Critical” mode, or else she’ll end the song early because she thought her voice “sounded like sh*t!” (...but we all know it didn’t).

If you’re a lonely person looking for someone to spice up your life, an extreme partier who needs someone to match your energy, or anywhere in between, Sarah is an interesting choice for all of you.

Remember: Get YOU a Sarah Su.

AGD Inc. is not responsible for any damages, physical and mental, caused by the Sarah Su Doll.

In the year of our Lord 2004, Braddicus Peterson was born in the small rural village of Long Island. Destined to serve in the war against mediocrity, he conducted training in the metropolis known as New York. Despite the rigorous requirements of the training academy, he excelled both in the sciences and the arts. He managed to enjoy Physics, a fact that was a bit concerning to his instructing commanders, as well as music. With a range that spans three vocal parts, he was a star of his own acapella group. On top of this, he’s a skilled guitarist, pianist, songwriter, and producer, creating original music with his fellow trainees. Therefore, when he was summoned by Emperor Timothy Beaviere to fight against musical mediocrity, he was more ready than ever. Braddicus is now a vital member of the Legion of Logarhythms. His tall stature makes him a threat to our enemies, but his fellow soldiers know he’s a gentle giant. Known to many by Brad Peters, Braddicus finds refuge in the Maseeh barracks. When he is not taking naps or playing the guitar, you can find him composing acapella arrangements beyond his years and practicing formations with his fellow soldiers. Even when he is not on active duty, Braddicus is always fighting for musical excellence.